I was, am, never one to start conversation. I don't know, its just something that I don't do, unless I need something. I don't like bothering people when they're on the computer doing whatever they're doing.
I'm also a really bad conversation starter. I've been told by a bunch of my friends, its not like I'm proud of it. Do you think I choose to be a bad conversation starter? And obviously, I'm really bad at making new friends. People have told me about how I am when I'm around them. Its very.. uninviting. It saddens me, really.
I don't know how to keep my friends. I don't give much effort. I don't know what to do. How do I show emotion without making myself, and my friends feel uncomfortable? I can't even imagine myself doing it.
I refuse to open up to anyone. I express my emotions in my mind, or maybe sometimes on here. I'm even hesitating to post this.
I don't want to be seen as "weak". I don't like feeling vulnerable.
Why can't I just be numb? I want to just be aware of what is happening, but not have emotion to it. Just so this doesn't happen anymore.
